Saturday, July 9, 2016

What Do We Do With “A Moment of Silence”?


I stood before the room of officers and asked them to share a moment of silence with me.  We were in the aftermath of the shooting of five police officers in Dallas.  I have been at muster before, spoken my peace in the past, but this was the first time I asked for the moment of silence.  And it was entirely appropriate to the moment.  Yes, police lose their lives, it is part of ‘the job’, but not this many, this suddenly, these men hunted down and killed for the color of their skin.  I asked for a moment of silence. 

This is one of those things in life that can be thought about ahead of time.  Not everybody needs to do that.  I know plenty of people who jump right into the moment of silence.  They have their focus, they know their drill, they take the time as it is offered.  I am one of those people that, if a moment is offered, by the time I get my head around to what I would do in the silence, the moment has passed by.  Not sure how well that reflects on this fellow who claims to work for the Lord.  These moments are stock in trade to what I do.  It is straightforward when I lead them.  I know what I am going to be asking for.  And, as the timekeeper, I will admit that a part of my focus is on the structure of the ‘moment of silence’, not always deeply in the moment of silence.

No, this is for those times when a moment of silence is called for, it is entirely appropriate to the moment, but it feels like I am metaphorically opening my mouth and not knowing what to say.  I am opening my heart and not knowing where to go. 

Working for Jesus, the moment of silence is a moment of prayer.  I prefer to say the prayer out loud, because I am uncomfortable with silences and because much of my job comes from what I say.  I can preach it or pray it out loud pretty well, so I am told.  And people invite me back so... 
But a lot of times, the moment of silence is the substitution for the openly religious prayer so that we can be sensitive to people who 1. Are of other faith traditions and 2. May not be of a faith tradition at all.  It is designed to be respectful of people of different belief systems.  Some believe more negatively, that it panders to nonbelievers.

Maybe that is where I get stuck.  The moment of silence is asked for and my brain goes into a categorizing mode.  Is it silence ‘Jesus-time’? Is it an interfaith silence?  Are we doing the moment because we do not know what else to do? 

Notice what is missing from this rather circuitous discussion?  It is what should be the common thread for consideration of the ‘moment of silence’.  That is answering the question ‘what is the moment for’?  I am coming to the belief that is our way in to answering the question of what we do with ‘a moment of silence’ is not with the head, but with the heart. 
Do not seek mental words to fill the silence.  Rather, let emotion fill the silence, as raw and powerful as you can muster.  This happened at the calling for the moment of silence following the Dallas murders.  

In that moment, the heart-felt answer to ‘what is the moment of silence for’ was not directly for the families of the officers killed in Dallas.  That may sound cold, but understand, prayers and thoughts for those families were very much a part of my prayer-life before and after I was at muster. 
In that moment, looking into the faces of the officers about to go out onto the streets, both experienced and in training, that moment of silence was a plea for their protection.  It answered a raw fear in my gut that some copycat might decide to do something stupid here in my City. 

As I thought about this, memories of the moments of silence for 9/11 came to me.  Two images answer ‘what is the moment of silence for’.  One is a memory tape that runs in my head of watching a plane slam into one of the towers.  Saw it live on television.  The other was an image from later on, that of first responders carrying out the body of Rev. Mychal Judge, NYFD Chaplain, killed in the attack.  The heart response to that moment of silence is ‘this is why I serve’.

What do you do with the moment of silence?  Let the emotions find expression (I want to say ‘let the emotions speak’ but this is silence we are talking about).  In other words, don’t think, feel.  Let the feeling form your response.  It might surprise you.
And if it feels like a pain is  going to burst out of your chest, by God, talk to someone about it! 

Chaplain’s Rule #1: A tear is okay to shed in the moment of silence.